and my warranty is way expired.

he asked me that while i sank my face in his chest.
for six days i didn't have a worry in the world and i dedicated every single moment to the ones i love with every cm of my pumping heart.
this city feels mine but lacking something. i know only half of what that is.
i may possibly have the swine flu. i may possibly just have a regular flu. but i most definitely don't want to go to the doctor.
i've had artist-block for the past 6 months. i find myself too busy with friends, lovers and school/job to paint. thats not an excuse. but i am tired. i'm really tired.

this is me throwing my hands to the air and giving up one the world.

i'm in the subway and there's a girl on the opposite side of the train looking at me and i think she's a girl but she looks quite androgynous, she's wearing a hood over her head and her eyes are bright brown, she says she's nauseated by my face and because she drank herself unconscious last night at the karaoke bar where she met a tall boy that looked a bit poof but asked her out anyway and she says they're going to drink free beers at the museum and then admire and possibly vandalize some art, she's looking pretty smug as she tells me this and she won't stop staring at me so i punch her in the nose and the man in front of me scolds me and tells me not to hit the windows.

my birthday is next week. i'm turning 22. i'm probably going to SD to celebrate it.
2008 ended badly. but a part of me was expecting it. at least i got to smooch a pretty stranger at midnight last night. and i'm starting a new year fresh, drama-free and completely and utterly alone.